At the end of last year, the list of the most searched words on Google in Nigeria was released and sitting pretty on that list was the popular transsexual, Bobrisky. When I sampled responses on the various online platforms, I saw the diverse reactions of people ranging from disgust to delirium.
The truth is, subjects like Bobrisky, deemed queer, will always generate such show of EMOTIONS. Just as sex, sexual orientation will remain a big issue especially in a setting such as ours where CULTURE determines a lot, how we REASON and RESPOND to even the mundane things of life.
So I asked myself, why should people be so curious about this man who seems to be having fun with what he is doing?
Bobrisky is a representation of what lots of people especially the youths are going through today. A continuous search for IDENTITY and the desire for ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance carries different meanings for different folks. Acceptance can be fame, money, position or all three rolled into one.
But rather than help them find answers, we push them away.
Our behaviours are shaped by the interpretations we have accepted as the standards of living and so often find it difficult to adjust or accept anything we consider new and out of our ‘comfort zone’. This one factor has made it difficult for people to associate with or accommodate others because their way of living is outside what is ‘right’. This is responsible for why you find it difficult to accept that people make mistakes and should be given another chance to redemption. This is why we push a lot of people to their destruction because rather than allow them room for expression and reconciliation, we condemn their actions till they arrogantly stick to the wrong path knowing fully well that no one wants them. We find it difficult to draw the line between acceptance and approval.
Are you sure your expectation of people is not simply to soothe your ego?
What if you allowed the seemingly wayward child express himself yet being firm about what is expected of him?
People do not need mending. They need LOVE. People are not items that need to be patched together to satisfy our definitions, people are emotional beings that react best to the emotions they seek. We act based on what we consider as the best for us per time. It may not be what you consider as being ‘right’ but they are seeking what they deem right. Perhaps, the search online for things ‘Bobrisky-ish’ is to understand how he has managed the attention and acceptance so that they also can emulate him or it could be a search to understand how to arrive at being Bobrisky in other spheres of life, one thing is for sure, Bobrisky is influencing someone close to you.
One of my mentors once said, the most flexible man is the most powerful man. The man who is most flexible has the tendency to exert the biggest influence.
Seek to understand. Radiate love. Discover more.